No longer alone with the moon
Holy mother, reborn in our hearts.

She bows in deep reverence to each radiant particle of life.
She lies down with the mighty earth.
She presses her lips to the holy ground.
She lets the water wash over her soft bosom.
She feels the warmth of the sun on her lovely body.
She bathes in the silent wilderness of the heart.
She dances in communion with the blessed soul of pure joy.

"Now!" She says, "You can love each other again."
"Now!" She says,
"You are no longer alone with the moon mirrored on the water."

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Do we care what our ancestors thought?
Do we know that we are part of the sweep of time?
Do we know that we are responsible for the follow through?
Have we traveled the vast horizon?
Are we following the sun?
Is the sun a metaphor for wisdom?
Is wisdom a metaphor for the brain?
Or is the brain an augury of spirit,
a transmitter and a receiver of thought waves.
And we get to choose our own means of transit, our own thoughts,
slipstreaming behind super hero meditators
for just the hardest parts of the journey.

If I have no control over who I love,
can I say that I take love seriously?
None of the archetypes work for me anymore:
Love must let my heart be free.

And if I take love seriously
I must leave it alone to forge its own path.
I must stop idealizing love.

Ah! How I want to let that love go;
be free of love's possessive grasp;
find my own original moments.

Love can take care of itself. Love is a big child now.
When that love grew up I left home.
It won't be easy for that love to find me.
I keep looking over my shoulder
to be sure I am not being followed.

Now all I want is Joy!
Joy is my natural companion.
I love joy -- and I am thankful
for joy's generosity and abundance
and for joy's endless potential.

I must be alone with you
but please, don't expect me to stay.
From one moment to the next
I don't want to know where I'll be.

But I realise that we learn with each other
and sometimes it takes two
to get really important things done:
I remember well.

At the very least, I must believe
I am alone -- for maximum stillness:
anticipating that Big Bang and the Black Hole giving way
to one of those beautiful white holes in time;
that, I am heading toward.

Nobody knows how you touched me.
We were alone together
for those small moments of simple joy.

That was all we needed.
Now we can carry on
alone again and not together.

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I'm through with mortal confinement.
I can ignore human nature.
Human frailty is not for the dancer.

Take me away from it.
Take me out to the very edge of existence.
I want to look back from there.

Perhaps that will be the perspective I yearn for.
From here it seems like freedom; the pinnacle of free spirit.
Freedom for my mind to roam the vast horizon.

Freedom that beckons the heart
and pleads with us to listen:
a plaintive cry for communion
at the outer reaches of discovery and wonder.

 There we travel freely to meet:
To exchange our lonely cry for songs
weaving resonance and illumination.

It was hard to pull away:
It is always hard to pull away when it is time to go.
Especially when feelings have been so engaged.
But the pain can be magnificent too.

The touch was magnetic.
I didn't want to let go, but I had to.
And the thought that made me feel I must pull away
- that, I truly honor.

The power of the attraction;
the force of pulling together
rejuvenated by pulling apart.
That thought gives power.

This time, the thought, I believe:
Trust freely.
The improvisation: love the flight
- the tender stillness from which it springs.

Nothing satisfies me more:
The engagement I yearn for,
where joy sits, smiling out on the world:
waiting, for that moment to move me.

It is inevitable that it speaks to me.
I trust it more than anything else.
I am moved by its every deflection,
embracing divine love- foundation of my life.

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After allocating a good amount of time every day in praising 'glory'
I feel so expansive and free.

No wonder great saints, spiritual masters and poets, like RUMI,
spent their time in praising glory. It is such a beautiful thing to do.
It leads me to feel that I really am 'out there' - 'in heaven'.
I have a powerful feeling that I am meant to be all inclusive.
I feel it in a way that is different from thinking it.
It's as though my thinking and feeling are trying to come together,
but the thought hasn't crystallized fully enough just yet.
I reach for a fresh perspective and I get there for a fleeting instant.
I guess it comes back to continually seeking to overcome
the dualism that our culture practices so relentlessly.

But, anyway, where was I? Oh! Yes!
I feel my best results come when I express my gratitude to Infinite Intelligence.
I think expression of gratitude is the most powerful means
of reaching out to another and it brings a great acceptance.
Gratitude is always appreciated,
(especially by Infinite Intelligence, which is the means to express its own 'full value').

The experience instantly comes full circle- back to the act of sending the thought.
Then I can feel it on a vaster scale, which unifies my sense of everything.
Just taking a moment to stop in order to 'identify' Infinite Intelligence
is like using the brain as a tuner; a transmitter and receiver.
Holding any thought with full commitment gives the power needed
to send the thought through every cell in the body and out to the ends of the cosmos.
That's what we can do when we put the focus and the intention together.
Then we can turn on our receivers to listen, with our whole being, to the resonance.

That is basically what 'superhero' meditators do.
That's how they become so happy and loving and nonjudgmental and joyful.
When you get to that place of resonance, no other attitude is respectable.
The resonance is so great that it can't be fully contained
with all of the attention that we can give to it in one moment.
So, the best way to manage this intensity is to find a level
where we can keep it constant, in consecutive moments,
because it is a never ending fountain of joy and bliss. Never-ending!

My heart is beating right now with the great excitement of having 'tuned in'
to describe the process. I can barely type! Oh! This is always so amazing!
I feel such intense energy rushing through me.
When it gets like this I just don't know what to do, except just hold on and stay calm.
I shiver with excitement! And, I want to share it with others.

This is the purpose of singing and writing for me.
It is the practice of my growing courage to reach out to everything and everyone, with love,
even those with whom I struggle.
At points like this I feel that I am really connected to the great energy of love and joy.
And the quality of my relationships with my audience leads here.
When I write from the memory of my favorite experiences with others,
the resonance helps me to focus my thoughts.

This is one of my surest means of keeping the quality of 'the flow' going,
from person to person, over the consecutive moments.
I believe this is what happens in my concerts.
We all, together, enter this 'sanctuary' and we can acknowledge being in love, with each other,
in as many ways as there is insight and courage and subtle agreement.

I sit here in my room and I feel the most sublime connection with the whole cosmos
through taking myself into these thoughts.
Writing it down acts as a support for me.
I can go a little further, perhaps, and I won't completely float away,
because my fingers anchor me.
It is not easy to keep this intensity up all the time! It's a great sleeping tonic!
In my waking hours it is the ritual I use everyday, as the foundation of my reality.
The more I perform this subtle little sacred ritual, the greater is the energy I experience.

It begins with actually spending time expressing simple gratitude,
for the eternal gifts of Infinite intelligence; for the wonder of life.
From there, it is an improvisation flowing through giving thanks
for the privilege of experiencing this wonder.
I give thanks from the bottom of my heart!
I feel recharged in every cell of my body and my spirit is renewed.

@August 1997 Maireid Sullivan

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Go to: Prose and Poetry ~ Celtophile Musings 1992 - 2001